I remember when things were easier.

Every time I reach for something, I have to be careful

                Or else my shoulder will dislocate.

Sometimes it dislocates in my sleep and I have to put it back in when I wake up in the middle of the night from the pain.

My right knee doesn’t bend all the way.

I’m tired of keeping it straight all the time,

it’s a pain in the butt.

I have broken my left ankle, and I think I fractured my right.

                But I didn’t go to the doctor for that one

-the bills rack up after too many visits.

My body often has bumps and bruises

                Because I go hard.

I can’t really complain

                Because I knew the risk I was taking.

                And the risk I still take every day

                I strap into my snowboard.

People keep telling me I need to stop hurting myself.

                I tell them that I don’t try to.

If snowboarding taught me anything it that sometimes you have to take risks

                If you want to live life to its fullest.

copyright: Eden Julia Jones, 2013

There are times when I’ll be walking around putting myself down. I think I’ll never accomplish my mile long to do list. In my head I make simple things seem impossible. I constantly wonder how I am viewed by others. I think I’ll never really attain my dreams. I become exhausted by my failure and the never ending circle of falling down and getting back up again that is my life. Sometimes it’s like I have forgotten that I am the only one who can live my life. I am the only one who holds the key to my personal chest of potential. I am the one who defines my success. Me and God, that is. Sometimes I find myself getting depressed because the amount of years I have lived does not measure up to what I have to show for it. My tiny pile of accomplishments is a small stack of dirty straw. A pile of rubble littered with plastic trophies and occasional good deeds. I forget that my past really doesn’t define my future. Suddenly I stop short in my tracks. Tell me why I can’t do anything! What is stopping me? What is reality anyway? 

Out of socks… guess its time to do laundry.

Snow. In Lynchburg. The first wierd event of my day. I get to Spanish class and see my professor rushing out the door. “Whats going on?” I ask to anyone who will answer. “Professor Towles’ cows got out,” replied a classmate, “he has gone to go find them so class is canceled.” Yup. No more quiz that I was unprepared for. One full free hour added to my day. That happened. (On a side note, pray for my poor professor… that he finds his cows.)